"And He gave them their request,
But sent leanness into their
soul."
Psalm 106:15
I have often read this verse, but not always
have I understood it in a way that I do now.
I remember reading about the Israelites
on their journey through the wilderness...
how long it took them, how they thirsted and
hungered and complained and tested God through it all.
I remember how the Lord was patient with them,
how He waited for them, and waited for them, and waited for them...
and how they could not wait for Him.
I remember how He gave them their request...
what a breath of fresh air, a relief, a dream
come true!
Finally. They got their way...
Often times, that is how I feel...
but here, in this verse, it tells me a different
story.
It tells a story of leanness, of want and
perhaps of loss. Not of gain...
except
in the sense of temporary fulfillment.
In times of waiting, we are tested.
"You have tested my heart;
You have visited me in the
night;"
Psalm 17:3a
The Lord is always watching and waiting...
"Behold, the eye of the Lord
is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His
mercy."
Psalm 33:18
Sometimes, we must wait as well.
I do not want leanness of soul.
I do not want my requests answered,
only to find that while I have all
of my desires fulfilled, I find that my heart
and soul are lean.
I want to receive all that the Lord has
set for me,
whether it be years of waiting
or years of fast answers.
I do not want to miss all that He may do
in my life, because I am too impatient,
selfish and grumbling...
but instead, I want to trust Him completely.
To know that He does all things well,
He is Good.
"For the word of the Lord is
right,
And all His work is done in
truth."
Psalm 33:4
