Photo credit, not mine :)
There it is again...
that picture in my mind,
that feeling.
I run my hands, those hands that
momma said were so gentle, so tender...
and I say,
so
empty.
I run them through the sand. Warm on top,
cool and dark underneath.
The sand is cupped within my two hands...
still and soft
but then,
I begin to open...
That feeling,
it seeps between my fingers,
falling,
falling.
That feeling when my fingers loose their grip and the
sand just melts away,
blowing in the breeze.
The feeling of openness...
open hands.
It is with me a lot these days;
that feeling
that picture.
I see the sand, as it blows away in the wind...
My natural instinct is to clench my fists,
to roll them into a tight ball.
Then comes defiance with the feeling of loss...
If I cannot be filled with what I desire,
then let me be empty!
I must open my hands to emptiness.
Oh, how fragile I feel.
I must open my empty and barren places,
to be filled.
Oh, how helpless I feel.
"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,
blessed be the name of the Lord."
taken from Job 1:21
Open hands,
willing to receive from Jehovah our Provider,
and to give freely back to the Great I AM.
Clenching will not help.
There is a beauty and peace that comes from open hands
before our God and a knowing...
that He is good.
But in the filling,
the growth and swelling...
it must give.
It must give with groans of pain,
pressing through with every ounce of strength.
To be filled, you must give.
Fullness, I want it.
I yearn for it....
and I have found,
that He fills.
Sometimes I rail against His filling.
"Not there Lord! Here! Here!"
But I do know that He cares and that He wants
to fill.
Perhaps not the exact place where we want it,
but fill nonetheless.
He desires us to bear,
to bring forth life,
fruit for His glory.
To swell with His goodness...
open hands,
ready to let go,
to give,
and to be filled
again.
"... to know the love of Christ
which passes knowledge; that you may
be filled with all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:19
(written February 2011)
