Last Days of Summer...

In a last hurrah for summer,

we went back to the beautiful lake country,

and enjoyed the quietness and sweet stillness that

comes before the weekend.

Soaking up the last beautiful rays of summer,

and enjoying it to the very last bit.

There is a beautiful, old light house

on Sodus Point...

with gardens and rolling grass hills leading

down to the lake.

The views are just breathtaking,

and the sound of the waves hitting the rocks below...

I could just listen to that sound,

for forever.

Checking out the views...

testing the arch...

loving it...

Open Hands

Photo credit, not mine :)

There it is again...

that picture in my mind,

that feeling.

I run my hands, those hands that

momma said were so gentle, so tender...

and I say,

so

empty.

I run them through the sand. Warm on top,

cool and dark underneath.

The sand is cupped within my two hands...

still and soft

but then,

I begin to open...

That feeling,

it seeps between my fingers,

falling,

falling.

That feeling when my fingers loose their grip and the

sand just melts away,

blowing in the breeze.

The feeling of openness...

open hands.

It is with me a lot these days;

that feeling

that picture.

I see the sand, as it blows away in the wind...

My natural instinct is to clench my fists,

to roll them into a tight ball.

Then comes defiance with the feeling of loss...

If I cannot be filled with what I desire,

then let me be empty!

I must open my hands to emptiness.

Oh, how fragile I feel.

I must open my empty and barren places,

to be filled.

Oh, how helpless I feel.

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,

blessed be the name of the Lord."

taken from Job 1:21

Open hands,

willing to receive from Jehovah our Provider,

and to give freely back to the Great I AM.

Clenching will not help.

There is a beauty and peace that comes from open hands

before our God and a knowing...

that He is good.

But in the filling,

the growth and swelling...

it must give.

It must give with groans of pain,

pressing through with every ounce of strength.

To be filled, you must give.

Fullness, I want it.

I yearn for it....

and I have found,

that He fills.

Sometimes I rail against His filling.

"Not there Lord! Here! Here!"

But I do know that He cares and that He wants

to fill.

Perhaps not the exact place where we want it,

but fill nonetheless.

He desires us to bear,

to bring forth life,

fruit for His glory.

To swell with His goodness...

open hands,

ready to let go,

to give,

and to be filled

again.

"... to know the love of Christ

which passes knowledge; that you may

be filled with all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:19

(written February 2011)

Small Towns, Big Memories

Pultneyville, NY

There is just something about small towns that draw me in.

Maybe it's their simplicity, or maybe it's just because

what you see, is what you get.

Whatever it is,

I have always loved them.

I'm a small town girl.

This town, on the edge of Lake Ontario, is just that.

Farm land is on every side of this quaint little town

that curves along the edge of the shore.

The Americana colors are everywhere,

along with the smell of the water and the warm breeze that

is always present in the summer.

It owns some of the most beautiful sunsets as well...

colors so sweet and smooth, rich and changing.

I have always loved to look out across a Great Lake or ocean

and just look and look,

as far as I can.

It makes me realize how small I am, and how big

He is.

How vast His creation is, what an artist He is,

how beautiful...

He is.

I want to see the Lord's beauty and goodness in

everything.

The "small"...

towns,

people,

days,

lives,

jobs,

chores,

dreams,

hopes,

sorrows,

joys,

pains...

and the "big".

His care is evident. His wisdom is written across the sky.

Press on...

to know

Him.

"So let us know,

let us pursue the knowledge of the Lord.

His going forth is established as the morning;

And He will come to us like the rain..."

Hosea 6:3

Sisters...

Bethany and me

forever and for always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can remember the day my mom told me

that she was going to have a baby. A baby!

I was finally going to have a sister...

or so I believed.

My mother tells me that before that day

and for 8 months after that day, I

prayed for my sister.

I just knew it was a girl...

because... doesn't the Lord

give us exactly what we ask for in

faith?

( I now have come to realize that we do not

always receive everything we ask for... but the faith of a child

still amazes me.)

I had a name all picked out for her,

but fortunately, she isn't named

it!

I loved her the minute I saw her...

she was mine...

my little sister.

I dreamed of the day when she could play

dolls with me, when we could

play dress-up in my gorgeous dresses and heels,

when we could share clothes.

I would take my clothes and

roll the sleeves and legs 10 times

just so we could wear somewhat matching clothes.

When I got a bunk-bed, we were so excited!

When she became a tad bit older she would

have the double size lower

part, and I would sleep on the top.

That never worked out...

we eventually got rid of that bed because

the top was rarely used.

For years we shared our double bed,

pretending we were sailing away

in a huge ship, or clacketty-clacking away

on a train to who knew where.

We played dolls,

we played house,

we shared secrets,

and chicken-pox,

we played make-up,

we did ballet and

acrobatics,

we did almost any imaginable thing...

together.

When she was little...

she needed me.

I taught her things, and helped her.

She wasn't very brave at all, but I

was.

She was shy, so

I talked for her.

She needed me.

It was a great feeling!

Now...

I have come to see that I needed her.

She was there every time to listen,

even when she probably didn't really

understand.

She listened to countless stories of joy and

heartache,

always with a loving heart and encouraging trust.

A while back I realized that my sister does not really

need me anymore.

It was quite the shock...

it took me by surprise.

Where have the years

gone?

Now...

we are best friends.

The years have melted away in difference and

we seem closer in age.

She's not the shy one anymore...

now I am...

she sometimes speaks for me...

but usually we just end up saying the same

thing at the same time as the other.

Our friendship is so sweet and true...

it runs deep.

It's in our blood.

A Dress for Emily

More pictures here

Flowers at Grandma's

Family

'Good lil' Boys'

Lil' cousin Travis,

from Pennsylvania

Lil' cousin CJ,

from Pennsylvania

Lil' cousin Austin, from Oklahoma.

Because I have no idea what to call them, 'are they

my second cousins, or my cousins once removed?',

I've decided to call them what they are;

'my lil' cousins'.

I miss you lil' guys!